Hot enough for you?

[Mark Flint]

Dear Diary: May 30th:
Just moved to Dallas...Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.I learned my lesson though Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:
The wind sucks.It feels like a giant blow dryer!! And it'shot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this darn humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95.I hate this stupid city.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise *** cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my butt was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and baked cat.

Aug. 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do squat for 2 months now and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so might $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the pool.Even the cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the whole windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"

My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Texas. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

[Wallaby Jack]

What's he gunna do when it starts ta warm up a might ?



:help

[Kitty Phann]

I don't know but just don't ask him if it's hot enough for you? He may be charged with manslaughter/murder.

[Chihuahua Floyd]

Maybe he should move to Arizona or New Mexico. Still 115 to 120 but its a DRY heat.
CF (Don't wanna even think about what a baked cat would smell like)

[Kitty Phann]

I truly believe there is a big difference between dry heat and humid. I'll take dry any day. SOOOOO you ask why do I live where today it is 82 degree with 65% humidity. Crazy that's right plain old crazy!!!!!! Not true here is where most of the family lives so the girls will know relatives.....grandma and grandpa.

[Fleur]

Hey it could take as few as 15 minutes in heat to kill a child in a enclosed car.. I have heard stories that just break my heart...
That heat can melt your cd's too so you need to take them out of the car.
On the other hand you could cook food in the heat... hmm a no fuss dinner perhaps? just stick all of the ingredients in your car straight from the store and return to have them ready to eat! ever seen roadkill helper?http://www.rcgroups.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=216849

http://www.i-can-fix-it.com/roadkill/ too funny they have been sued to stop production of the handy product!

This is funny too
Beer Can Chicken
Ingredients:
1 5-lb. Chicken
¼ C. olive oil
¼ C. Duff's Roadkill Helper (recipe below)
1 12-oz. can of beer
4 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed

Duff's Roadkill Helper
4 garlic cloves, peeled, smashed, and chopped
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. dried rosemary
1 tsp. dried thyme
½ tsp. black pepper
½ tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. freshly grated lemon zest




Preparation:

Prepare chicken:
Rinse chicken and pat dry. Rub oil over chicken skin and inside the cavity. Sprinkle 1 Tbsp. of the spice rub into the cavity, and rub the rest all over the chicken.

Open the beer can, drain off a few sips, and toss the smashed garlic into the can. Holding the chicken upright, push the southern end of the chicken over the beer can, so it looks as if the chicken is standing at attention.

To cook in the oven: preheat oven to 350°F. Place chicken in a shallow roasting pan or baking dish. Roast until the juices run clear, about 1-¼ hours.

To cook on the Grill: Stand the chicken upright on a hot grill. Cover the grill with a lid or a large stockpot. Grill until the juice run clear, about 1-¼ hours. Grilling times vary depending on the size of your chicken and heat of the coals.

Prepare Rub:
Mix all ingredients well in a small bowl. Refrigerate in a jar for 2 to 3 weeks. Makes about ¼ cup.


Karen Duffy, A Slob In The Kitchen Cookbook
6/22/2004 11:01:35 AM

[Kitty Phann]

Have ever tried beer can chicken? Hubbie made it the other night and man it was good. Really moist and flavorful.