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Lady Fleur
06-19-2006, 04:13 PM
PLEASE ADD YOURS
Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never
thought about:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny
for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

If Wiley E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
Call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?

Gamblin Gordo
06-19-2006, 04:15 PM
There are some priceless jewels in that bunch Fleur

Wallaby Jack
06-19-2006, 04:17 PM
At the 1997 Sydney Royal Easter Show, Sheepdog Trials .......

....... how many were found guilty ?

Catawba Kate
06-19-2006, 04:24 PM
Those are all very good questions!!! Now, I want some answers!!!:gg :gg

Chihuahua Floyd
06-19-2006, 05:10 PM
Those are all very good questions!!! Now, I want some answers!!!:gg :gg
Kate
4
12
President Washington
the Panama Canal
June 2, 1989
Mathew, Mark, Luke and John

CF
Maybe not the answers to your questions, but they are answers.

DogWoman
06-19-2006, 05:33 PM
So you go to the drive up window at the bank and you see BRAILLE on the call button. Huh?

Then you read the Utah Blind Access law, now this is REAL folks. I carry that sucker with me all the time because part of it also relates to puppy raising. Now get this:

Title 25-30-1 PHYSICALLY DISABLED PERSONS, RIGHTS AND PRIVILAGES: (1) The blind, visually handicapped, hearing impaired, or otherwise physically disabled person has the same rights and privilages in the use of HIGHWAYS, streets, sidewalks, walkways, public buildings, public facilities, and other public areas as able-bodied persons.

Highways???? So maybe the fool that ran you off the road REALLY DIDN'T SEE YOU AFTER ALL!

Someone care to explain this to me????

Lady Fleur
06-19-2006, 06:50 PM
DW Yes i agree WHY???

Major E.A. Sterner
06-19-2006, 08:57 PM
Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Gamblin Gordo
06-19-2006, 09:20 PM
What's a Jumbo Shrimp?

Black Box Belle
06-19-2006, 11:45 PM
Why am I tired?

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep,not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think of.
But now I found out the real reason I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why...

The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of these there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killi ng Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me. :faint

And there you are sitting on your a**, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice. :tap :go

Fannie Kikinshoot
06-20-2006, 06:39 AM
Isn't Military Intelligence an oxymoron?

Wallaby Jack
06-20-2006, 07:04 AM
No Ma'am, Military Intelligence is a "contradiction"

An oxymoron is a idjut wiff a blowtorch

Ida Hands
06-20-2006, 08:25 AM
I've always wondered....

If it's in your nose is it still an earring?

If you have one of those earstuds in your nose(nosestud?) when you sneeze..how far will it shoot?

If you lose a nosestud while swimming...shouldn't that hole let water get in your nose?

How do you get the backing thingie on it while it is IN your nose so it doesn't come off? You can't HOLD it.

DogWoman
06-20-2006, 11:09 AM
Lioness, I don't know how to answer your questions but you sure gave me an idea for all those lost earrings and backs! I can give them to someone for their NOSE!!!