A Little Something for our Bovine Freedom Fighter

[Garnet Rose]

A Shaggy Cow Tale

[Garnet Rose]

Hope you have a note from your mommy

[Garnet Rose]

What? Huh? Who me?

[Garnet Rose]

Bragging rights

[Garnet Rose]

You're an honorary Moo-sketeer!

[Garnet Rose]

How sweet the sound

[Garnet Rose]

Not quite the moonie tenet of the Church of the California Coast -- no surfers slippin out of their wetsuits under their towels

[Kid Sopris]

Rose , By chance have you been diagnosed with "Mad Cow Disease"? :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Really cookin' now

[Garnet Rose]

Kid! Slap! I knew you couldn't resist jumpin' into my story before the end :-p

:sop :moon

[Garnet Rose]

Watch out for Al Cowpone

[Garnet Rose]

How do you recognize Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?

[Garnet Rose]

He's the one with the sesame seed buns, of course!

[Garnet Rose]

Huh? What? Don't look behind you

[Garnet Rose]

How things change

[Garnet Rose]

I'm sure Ricardo Montalban just made it up... There's probably no such thing as Corinthian leather

[Garnet Rose]

Which moonth are they looking at?

[Garnet Rose]

What a difference one letter makes...

[Coffee Em]

:lool :rofl :lool :rofl :lool !

(And the religion section is only a partial one--I'm a Moonitarian Mooniversalist, myself!)

Cheers,
Coffee (sesame seed buns, indeed! And I'll bet there's folks here who don't even know what cow tipping <i>is</i>!) Em

[Garnet Rose]

Nearing the end of our shaggy cow tail

[Garnet Rose]

Em, That's cuz cow tipping is top secret!

Favorite lines from movies with cows in:

Twister: "We've got cows!"

The Rundown: "Booze on the grind!" (translation: bulls on the ground)

[Garnet Rose]

Em, Loved your additions to the religions! There's a Gateway Church near here. I always wonder if every sermon is a moo-ving experience.

[Garnet Rose]

The End of our Tale

[Coffee Em]

Gateways are all very well, but where's the Cattle Guard Church? (Right down the road from the Open Range Church, silly bovine freedom fighter!)

That furry Highland cow looks 'bout ready for Minnesota...

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[William A.A. Wallace]

The End of our Tale

Don't you mean "The End of our TAIL"???? :tban

[Kid Sopris]

Okay Garnet Rose you started it! Don't complain !

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.

"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"


What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia


Where do cows go when they want a night out?
To the moo-vies!


What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
Bull-dozin'


What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
"It's just an udder day"


How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
With a Cowculator


Why don't cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry




Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows



What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat



What do cows wear in Hawaii?
Moo- moos



What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated



Courtesy of an Aging Senile Cow-boy

[Garnet Rose]

Kid, those were udderly ridiculous! You sure milked that for all it was worth. LOL

[Garnet Rose]

Rose , By chance have you been diagnosed with "Mad Cow Disease"? :rofl

No, Kid, but only because I'm shrink resistant!

[Wallaby Jack]

A tour bus pulls up at an Aboriginal historic site in the Outback, all but one tourist get off and follow the tour guide to see the site...
The bus driver casually walks up to the lone tourist and asks why the tourist didn't go with the others to see the Aboriginal Carvings.
"No thanks, I saw a cow calving once, and I was sick for a week......."


:wallabymy dad's a dairyfarmer:wallaby

[Garnet Rose]

Don't you mean "The End of our TAIL"???? :tban

Yes, WAAW. Thanks for paying attention to what I *meant* instead of what I *said* LOL

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

I have been privy to the Top Secret "Cow Tipping".

'Em, Catawba Kate and I would like for you to see a picture of your first 2 Bovine Freedom Fighter cohorts.

[Chihuahua Floyd]

The three bulls in a farmers pasture have heard that a new bull is coming to join the herd.
The first bull says "I been here the longest, I've whipped every other bull I ever meet. I got 20 cows and I ain't giving up any of them to anybody. You other two will have to share with the new guy.
The second bull says "I been here almost as long as you, i've whipped everybody but you and I got 10 cows, I ain't sharing either. Jr. you got to share with thenew guy."
Jr. says "I only got 5 cows and I ain't about to loose any. The new guy is on his own."

Next day the farmer backs his trailer into the pasture, lowers the gate and the biggest bull anybody has ever seen comes walking out, with horns six feet wide. He starts to snort and paw the ground, hook his horn in the ground and digs big holes.

The first bull says "Maybe I've been to quick to judge this boy. I think I ought to be neighborly and share a couple of cows with him."

The second bull agrees he could share his harem, no need to be greedy.

Jr. just starts to snort back at the new bull and paw and hook the ground like crazy. The first bull hollers "Jr, that bull is going to kill you!!"


Jr. replies, "I don't care, as long as he knows I'm a BULL!"

[Coffee Em]

Fannie, that photo's going in Bovine Freedom Fighter magazine, in the Lifestyles section. :D :D

CF, you're a madman. I'm just sayin', is all.

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Garnet Rose]

A tour bus pulls up at an Aboriginal historic site in the Outback, all but one tourist get off and follow the tour guide to see the site...
The bus driver casually walks up to the lone tourist and asks why the tourist didn't go with the others to see the Aboriginal Carvings.
"No thanks, I saw a cow calving once, and I was sick for a week......."


:wallabymy dad's a dairyfarmer:wallaby

Wallaby, I thought of you yesterday when I was standing in line behind an Australian family at the Bengal Barbeque in Adventureland, Disneyland. They were experiencing a bit of culture shock when they saw both "iced tea" and "hot tea" listed on the menu board. The grandmother remarked to the mother, "I don't know how Americans can drink that -- cold tea." Mom unbelieving, "They drink their tea cold?" Teenaged granddaughter, aghast, "It isn't REALLY cold tea, is it?" And I learned something new. I hadn't realized that Iced Tea was such an American thing.

[Garnet Rose]

OOps, back on topic!

[Nellie Blue]

***GASP*** Call the mods committee!!! :lool

[Wallaby Jack]

Iced Tea over/under this side of tha fishin'hole is much like Vegemite over that side.............. If ya really want it, ya can find it ...;)


:wallaby:eek::wallaby

[Garnet Rose]

Thanks, Wallaby, that's good to know!

[Garnet Rose]

This joke reminded me of prehistoric days before coffee presses and drip filters that my mother had an electric percolator which would automatically stop perking when the coffee was ready. I took my older sister (the natural blonde) camping and she put coffee grounds and water in an old-fashioned coffeepot and put it over the fire. After awhile I told her "coffee's done" and she said, "But it hasn't stopped perking yet!"

:coffee em

[Coffee Em]

Good thing you were there--that coffee could have got pretty thick before she figured it out!

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Garnet Rose]

Good thing you were there--that coffee could have got pretty thick before she figured it out!

Cheers,
Coffee Em

Well, it did help that we don't consider it to be "real" coffee unless the spoon stands up in it! LOL

[William A.A. Wallace]

Well, it did help that we don't consider it to be "real" coffee unless the spoon stands up in it! LOL

Cowboy Coffee

1-2 lbs. Ground Coffee Beans
1 Gallon Fresh Spring Water
1 Coffee Pot
1 Horseshoe

Pour ground coffee beans and water into pot. Bring to a boil on an open campfire for 30 minutes.

Toss in horsehoe.

If horseshoe doesn't float, add more ground coffee beans and boil for another 30 minutes.

[Garnet Rose]

LOL, WAAW :fun

[Coffee Em]

If horseshoe dissolves, summon cowboys to breakfast.

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Garnet Rose]

Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em, Keep those dogies rollin'

[Garnet Rose]

A nightmare?

[Garnet Rose]

Another one...

[Garnet Rose]

deep bandini?

[Garnet Rose]

might be easier to carry around Starbucks bucks

[Coffee Em]

AACKKK! :faint :rofl :rofl :rofl

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Garnet Rose]

Another one

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

http://www.mothercow.org/bull/barnyard/holy-cow.jpg

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

http://www.mothercow.org/bull/got-milk-349x409.jpg

[Kid Sopris]

Cow Pranks!

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

http://www.crazy-jokes.com/pictures/cow.jpg

[Texas Butterbean]

ROFLMAO!!!!!! OMG you guys quit I don't think that my computer can tak another spewing from my drink. Yall are too funny!!!!!:rofl :rofl :rofl :fun :fun :fun

[Four-Eyed Buck]

:fun :spray :spray :spray :spray :spray :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Milking this for all it's worth...

[Garnet Rose]

I'll take what's behind curtain #3!

[Garnet Rose]

Em, something to wear with your "Yay, the apocalypse!" button

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Garnet Rose]

toil and trouble

[Coffee Em]

Awww, that's sad that they didn't get cactus hats!

The eye of potato thing? They're covering that in Harry Potter's potions class next year.

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Garnet Rose]

Awww, that's sad that they didn't get cactus hats!


Cheers,
Coffee Em

Especially with so many styles to choose from!

[Garnet Rose]

there's this one

[Garnet Rose]

and this one

[Garnet Rose]

and last but not least

[Garnet Rose]

Of course, turnabout is fair play

[Garnet Rose]

And to hang up your cactus hat, you'll need a cactus hatrack!

[Garnet Rose]

Hey diddle diddle

[Garnet Rose]

This calf would have to find an eda-mommy :go

(For those of you who don't have a Trader Joe's nearby, edamame is fresh soy beans still in their shells like sweet peapods)

[Coffee Em]

AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ahem. Eda-mommy, indeed.

Cheers,
Coffee Em

[Jady]

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e381/Jadym/Copy_of_cool_cow_punk_look.jpg

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Garnet, that's udderly ridiculous!!!!!:rofl :lool :go

[Wallaby Jack]

Yeah ! .........I agree with Uncle Buck,...... pull the udder one.

:wallaby:w2:wallaby

[Chihuahua Floyd]

Udder nonsense!
CF

[Coffee Em]

Jady, that one's got Bad Cow Disease!

[Jady]

Jady, that one's got Bad Cow Disease!

Yep, ... Bad to the T-Bone!! :lool

[Coffee Em]

:lool :rofl :lool :rofl

[Lily Orleans]

Oh Em!!!! Look what I have found for you!!!! Aren't they the cutest!!!??!!!! I was cracking up! :rofl

http://images.auctionworks.com/hi/46/46217/560103.jpg

[Coffee Em]

They're So Cute!

Edited to add--okay, that's weird: I typed that in all caps. Twice. And I'm seeing it as initial cap/lowercase. Huh.

Well, I still say those are really cute!

[Garnet Rose]

They're So Cute!

Edited to add--okay, that's weird: I typed that in all caps. Twice. And I'm seeing it as initial cap/lowercase. Huh.

Well, I still say those are really cute!

I think there must be a new spellchecker/editor added to the Alley, because I had that problem when I wanted to type "LOL, CF" and it made me put spaces between each capital to keep them capitals.

[Kitty Phann]

Had to jump on the bandwagon and submit something too.

[Coffee Em]

The life of a dairy farmer is always intense.

[Wallaby Jack]

Oh, ...... I always thought it were Arabs what lives intense....


:wallaby:confused::wallaby

[Kid Sopris]

Bedouins, (Camel Jockey's) Wallaby ! :lool :lool :lool

[Coffee Em]

Hey, Wallaby: :spit :rofl :lool !!

[Wallaby Jack]

Humph !!!!!

I'll not udder anudder werd !


:wallabyma;)be:wallaby

[Coffee Em]

You better--Garnet'll vouch for it that "Pththththhtttp!" and "Arrrrrrgggh!" are both high praise for a pun!

[Chihuahua Floyd]

Well, its sure getting pun-ny round here.
Wondered where the metallic aftertaste in my cornflakes came from.
CF

[Garnet Rose]

You better--Garnet'll vouch for it that "Pththththhtttp!" and "Arrrrrrgggh!" are both high praise for a pun!

Yes, groans are the best pun-ishment!

[Garnet Rose]

Am I mistaken, or is this the same dumb expression worn by Steve McQueen in The Great Escape?

[Wallaby Jack]

.....before, or, after tha "barbed wire" incident at tha end ?......

:wallaby:confused::wallaby

[Garnet Rose]

.....before, or, after tha "barbed wire" incident at tha end ?......

:wallaby:confused::wallaby

Before, when he was asking permission from the escape committee to dig his tunnel while pushing a hollow pipe up to the surface occasionally for air -- the look on his face is priceless!

[Wallaby Jack]

Gues I had better rent it again........ :o

:wallaby

[Garnet Rose]

A little ditty from the Professor Zounds site for you, Em:

http://www.profzounds.com/ra-button.gif (http://www.profzounds.com/caffeine.ram)"Caffeine" !

[Coffee Em]

:rofl :lool :rofl :lool

I didn't actually spit coffee until the lines about it being hard to find a rhyme...

[Garnet Rose]

But you DID spit coffee! :tban

I liked when Jean, his wife, asked him to clear away that cobweb so long as he was on the ceiling.

(Professor Zounds is the guy who took me shootin' for the first time. He also taught me how to spit watermelon seeds over the porch railin' and how to drink coke with peanuts in it. All important Southern skills, I hear)

[Coffee Em]

And when she asks him to set the table? Howling, howling. That's not just a good song--that's ART!

[Garnet Rose]

He's a talented guy. He once did a spoof on "Duelling Banjos" that was the banjo being answered by the spaceship music from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Pretty funny stuff.

[Kid Sopris]

I even thought of having coffee with Em.....http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KidSopris3290/FAR%20SIDE/CoffewithEm.jpg

[Coffee Em]

Them thar's my boys! I'm so proud of 'em... :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Stock options, anyone?

[Kid Sopris]

Best not disturb Coffee Em, before her fix!

[Garnet Rose]

Why did the chicken tiptoe through the tulips? :chick :chick

[Garnet Rose]

Feta anyone?

[Coffee Em]

Awwww--a sheepish grin! (And I think I must make one of those t-shirts!)

[Kid Sopris]

Em, Ignore it. Rose is trying to get your goat! :faint :lool :lool :lool

[Garnet Rose]

Em, do you have this feature in your new truck?

[Ida Hands]

I thought Miss Em might like a little something sweet and warm to fill her coffee cup in the morning....http://members.cox.net/mtn-lioness/catpuccino.jpg

[Coffee Em]

Hey, Rose! Hands off my durn goat! And hey, I don't know if it has cattle drive. Can't find it in the manual, but I could try herdin' some other folks' cattle with it down on Sahuarita Rd.--d'ya think they'd mind? :rofl

Awwww---catpuchino! Our "boys" were once that size; we've seen the photos. Now I don't think we could fit their fuzzy butts in the three gallon stockpot! :D

[Garnet Rose]

One of the mysteries of the universe!

[Garnet Rose]

CoffeeEm does a little remodel...

[Garnet Rose]

:coffee em :coffee em :coffee em :flame

[Iron Ed]

...Awwww---catpuchino! Our "boys" were once that size; we've seen the photos. Now I don't think we could fit their fuzzy butts in the three gallon stockpot!
I'm not sure if it's three gallons butt...

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Okay, Ed, what'd you put in there to get them to put their faces in there??????:lool :rofl

[Iron Ed]

Okay, Ed, what'd you put in there to get them to put their faces in there??????:lool :rofl That was about six years ago, Buck! If I recall corecktly they were cleaning out a Brunswick Stew. :) They don't 'share' like that so well these days. (Don't fit as well either...) :re

[NoGunz Kay]

Got this in an email today and thought about the bovine freedom fighter. Enjoy!!

NoGunz Kay :gf

[Ida Hands]

http://www.generalcomics.com/funny-animal-pictures-cartoon-animals/21.jpg

[Garnet Rose]

Lioness, I've heard of having butterflies in one's tummy, but that's udderly ridiculous! :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Oh look...a chicken!

[Garnet Rose]

Wiltshire - Latest News

<!-- SELECT mod_config FROM m5_mod_tree WHERE mdtid=23942 --><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR><TD>
Escaped cow charges police car
By Craig Evry (cevry@newswilts.co.uk)
AN escaped cow charged a police car as officers tried to move the animal from a busy road last night.
The Highland cow managed to escape onto the A350 near Steeple Ashton, and according to police was causing "absolute chaos" as it walked down the centre of the road.
Lorries and cars were swerving to avoid the animal, which was first spotted at about 10.55pm.

<SCRIPT language=JavaScript><!--OAS_AD('Frame2');//--></SCRIPT>http://adsadmin.newsquest.co.uk/RealMedia/ads/Creatives/default/empty.gif (http://adsadmin.newsquest.co.uk/RealMedia/ads/click_lx.ads/www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/headlines/display.var.767429.0.escaped_cow_charges_police_ca r.php/1565552658/Frame2/default/empty.gif/31383565313034303434373332623130)

Police were called to the scene and were trying to coax the cow into a nearby field, but during the operation it charged a patrol car.
No police officers were injured but there was damage to the car's bonnet and grill. Although the cow also struck the windscreen it remained intact.
Police said the cow was coaxed into a field just after midnight and the animal's owner was called to collect it.
Police initially reported a bull was responsible for the traffic chaos but were later told by the farmer they had been mistaken about the animal's gender.

A police spokesman said: "When it is dark and there is a hairy creature snorting and pawing the ground in front of you, you don't stop to check." http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2006/05/cows_gone_bad.html#comments
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Garnet Rose]

Oh look...a chicken!

[Goldie]

OMG!!!!!! LMAO:lool :lool :lool

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

Garnet, girl, we need to get you a hobby. :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Garnet, girl, we need to get you a hobby. :rofl :rofl :rofl

Fannie, I thought you got me one and its initials are SASS! :sewing

[Garnet Rose]

Fresh ground coffee anyone?

[Garnet Rose]

Chocolate milk, the early years.

[Chihuahua Floyd]

I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows???
CF

[Calico]

Fannie, I thought you got me one and its initials are SASS! :sewing
Garnet, dear, it's OCCD, not SASS.
:whip Now, back to the :sewing

[Garnet Rose]

Garnet, dear, it's OCCD, not SASS.
:whip Now, back to the :sewing

Yes, dear. :gg

Garnet (who *was* sewing this weekend until a certain hubby laughed when she sewed her combination muslin together the wrong way) Rose

OKay, back on topic...

[Garnet Rose]

Poor Juan Valdez, they're cuttin' out the middleman :go

[Garnet Rose]

My old cow-tucky home

[Garnet Rose]

When your markers go missing...

[Garnet Rose]

A moorital counsellor?

[Garnet Rose]

The coffee wagon?

[Coffee Em]

That's how I'd want my cattle drive equipped, fer sure! :lool:lool

[Garnet Rose]

Classic cowbell humor

[Garnet Rose]

Em, be glad you didn't have a son like Jason. :lool

[Garnet Rose]

The newest Starbuzz

[Garnet Rose]

The smart entrepreneurial kid's stand in Coffee Em's neighborhood.

[Kid Sopris]

ALRIGHT ! WHO SPILLED THE BEANS ABOUT ME AND LATTE'S?:lool :lool

I also offer for those who care to indulge......Oh look at :chick

[Garnet Rose]

Love letters in the sand (they spell S T A R B U C K S)

[Coffee Em]

Laaaaaaatteeeeeeeee (said in the Homer Simpson "donuts" voice...)

Kid, I didn't spill any beans; every last one went into the grinder where it belonged.

[Garnet Rose]

Always "Moo" when you're being herded, those around you will join in.

[DogWoman]

:lool

My husband says that about Southwest Airlines!

[Garnet Rose]

A bit of a warmup for the Saturday night singalong...


Jimmy Buffett - Fins Lyrics


She came down from Cincinnati.
It took her three days on a train.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
hoped to see the sun again.
But now she lives down by the ocean.
She's takin' care to look for sharks.
They hang out in the local bars,
And they feed right after dark.

[Chorus:]
Can't you feel 'em circlin' honey?
Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only bait in town.
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only girl in town.

She's savin' up all of her money.
Wants to head south in May;
Maybe roll in the sand with a rock'n'roll man,
Somewhere down Montserrat way.
But the money's good in the season;
Helps to lighten her load.
Boys keep her high as the months go by.
She's gettin' postcards from the road.

[Chorus]

Sailed off to Antigua.
It took her three days on a boat.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
Maybe keep her dreams afloat.
But now she feels like a remora,
'cause the school's still close at hand.
Just behind the reef are the big white teeth
of the sharks that can swim on the land.

[Chorus]</PRE>

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

I love to see you smile!

http://www.superlaugh.com/1/groovycow.htm

[Kitty Phann]

Oh, Fannie that is to cute!

[Kitty Phann]

We have these guys scattered thought Madison and Fitchburg. Six of them were in a park near our house. They all have name plaques with alittle bit of factoids about Wisconsin Dairy industry. I have spared you the factoids and gone strickly for the pictures. Also in unlike Alley fashion I have not shown the backsides of them unless it is note worthy. After all a cow backside looks the same.

The first cow featured is "Star Fleet Battle Cow"

[Kitty Phann]

oops let's try that again!

Star Fleet Battle Cow

[Kitty Phann]

Star Fleet Battle Cow, sideview. These cows will all be sold in a auction at the end of summer (if they make it!).

side comment.....this cow was vandelized on the other side. That just ticks me off... you get nice/fun stuff in the parks and someone comes along and destroys it. :tap

[Kitty Phann]

Sorry about the BIGpictures still working on my picture posting skills.

Ok the next in the parade of cows is

Market Maddie

[Kitty Phann]

Market Maddie from the side

[Kitty Phann]

This is my favorite one....

Cow Chip

[Kitty Phann]

moooovvvving the parade along.

Plaid Hatchery Cow

Fitchburg is know for its fish hatchery.

[Kitty Phann]

The sideview of the hatchery cow.

[Kitty Phann]

The Gathering of the Oak leaves. This was sponsored bya local bank... Oak Bank.

[Kitty Phann]

Ok, the last of the parade...... "Crossroads".





Glad, I didn't have to clean up after them!

[Garnet Rose]

moooovvvving the parade along.

Plaid Hatchery Cow



Oh, no! It's plaid cow disease! (and it has gumboots just like Coffee Em's)

Thanks, Kitty, those were fun! :ty

[Black Box Belle]

I love the cow parade! but I must say "cow chip" was not what I was expecting! :chick

[Coffee Em]

Much as I like the Cow Chip, the Fishin' Cow is my favorite. (Though that George Lucas rebel fighter cow was pretty great...)

Did you know that cows are naturally attracted to literature of all sorts? Inclined to be nearsighted, though...

[Garnet Rose]

A little retro educational video for our resident coffee expert:

http://www.archive.org/stream/ThisisCo1961/ThisisCo1961_256kb.mp4

[Garnet Rose]

Cow philosophy -- I guess turnabout is fair play.

[Garnet Rose]

They'll need one heck of a big barcode reader!

[Garnet Rose]

Artistic license

[Coffee Em]

Omigawd, I love the way he says "coffee"--as if, you know, you could have sex, but coffee is soooo much better...!!! :rofl

(And now I want a donut!)

[Garnet Rose]

Omigawd, I love the way he says "coffee"--as if, you know, you could have sex, but coffee is soooo much better...!!! :rofl

(And now I want a donut!)

Well, it can be lots easier to turn up the heat on coffee. LOL The scene with the cigar was a bit unappetizing but I thought it was cute that cappuccino and espresso were considered to be soooo exotic and now can be found on every street corner here.

Calico wanted to use my coffee water measuring cup for some mysterious reloading type chore and asked if the liquid in it could be tossed (he thought it might be hummingbird nectar). When I told him it was just leftover water for coffee, he said "You didn't measure carefully like that coffee guy said!" and I told him the coffee guy wasn't talking "instant". :lalala

[Garnet Rose]

And some people think gay marriage is a controversial topic :go

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/07/10/marrycow.shtml

[Coffee Em]

So how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm? :rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Highly illogical!

[Chihuahua Floyd]

A whole movie on coffee and they forgot the Irish, again.
Not that I mix my drinks that way, but, I was waiting for the Irish coffee.
Now he expects me to wash the coffee pot, whats next, wash my coffee cup?
CF

[Garnet Rose]

A whole movie on coffee and they forgot the Irish, again.
Not that I mix my drinks that way, but, I was waiting for the Irish coffee.
Now he expects me to wash the coffee pot, whats next, wash my coffee cup?
CF

CF, you wouldn't happen to be an engineer, wouldja? :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Heigh ho, the derry-o

[Garnet Rose]

Artist: Rose Royce Lyrics
Song: (Modified) Car Wash Lyrics :tban

Ooh ooh
You might not ever get rich
But let me tell ya it's better than diggin' a ditch
There ain't no tellin' who you might meet
A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief
(Workin')
At the cow wash
Workin' at the cow wash, girl
Come on and sing it with me
(cow wash)
Sing it with the feelin' ya'all
(cow wash, girl)
Ooh!
Some of the work gets kinda hard
This ain't no place to be if you planned on bein' a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool
At the cow wash
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Talkin' about the cow wash, girl
Come on, ya'all and sing it for me
(cow wash)
Oooh oooh oooh
(cow wash, girl)
(Work and work)
Well, those cows never seem to stop coming
(Work and work)
Keep those rags and machines humming
(Work and work)
My fingers to the bone
(Work)
Can't wait till it's time to go home
(Hey, get your cow washed today)
Fill up and you don't have to pay
Come on and give us a play
(Do the wash, right away)
(The cow wash)
Talkin' 'bout the cow wash
cow wash, girl
Come on, ya'all, let's sing it with me
(cow wash)
Sing it with feelin', ya'all
(cow wash, girl)
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
(cow wash)
Never seem to stop comin'
What'd I say
Keep those rags and machines hummin'
(cow wash)
Let me tell you, it's always cool . . .

[Lady Fleur]

Farmer in the DELL :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Lady Fleur]

Moooning You!

[Tatted Lady]

Farmer in the Dell:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Duzy Wales]

Too funny:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

Farmer in the dell......where the heck is that darn Windex?!:rofl :rofl :rofl

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

My sentiments exactly.....

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

Oh look, a chicken....

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

ROFLMAO :rofl :rofl

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

Anatomy 101

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

:spray :spray :spray

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

__________________________________________________ _______________

[Coffee Em]

Oh, geez, farmer...missed a spot...steak knives...cow buoy... BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!!!!

:lool :lool :lool :lool

[Chihuahua Floyd]

CF, you wouldn't happen to be an engineer, wouldja? :rofl
GR,
Yes, I be an Engineer, Civil, not trains, to hard to make a right and see whats over there with a train.
Why, is there something bout us that means we don't wash coffee pots or something?
CF (you can pour boiling water in my coffee cup and get a cup of coffee)

[Coffee Em]

(you can pour boiling water in my coffee cup and get a cup of coffee)


AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

(For Fannie, it's legless varmints. Now you know what it is for me. :D :D :D )

[Garnet Rose]

GR,
Yes, I be an Engineer, Civil, not trains, to hard to make a right and see whats over there with a train.
Why, is there something bout us that means we don't wash coffee pots or something?
CF (you can pour boiling water in my coffee cup and get a cup of coffee)

Well, I'm not saying that *all* engineers don't wash their coffee cups, I'm just sayin' that I've been acquainted with an engineer or twenty who didn't (and you shoulda heard 'em squawk when I washed the coffee pot! LOL)

[Garnet Rose]

I love the cow parade! but I must say "cow chip" was not what I was expecting! :chick

In Illinois there's a cow chip competition!

http://www.sj-r.com/sections/news/stories/90972.asp

[Garnet Rose]

This just in from the Gallery of Regrettable Food:
http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/coffee/index.html

Coffee jello? Yikes! :faint

[Coffee Em]

Blurg. The idea didn't sound entirely ghastly, but then I saw the photo, and...well, blurg. Eeeuuww.

[Kaycee McCaylum]

This is from EOT 06

http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n239/kc48970/lnghorn.jpg

[Kaycee McCaylum]

Mama did not really like the camera

http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n239/kc48970/lnghorn2.jpg

[Coffee Em]

Awww, the moo-let! With the nose! And the ears! And the cute! Awwwwww!

[Garnet Rose]

Did a cow eat the rare Ulster orchid found only 14 times in 110 years?

By Linda McKee
07 August 2006 A rare orchid has been discovered at the Ecos Park in Ballymena - and has promptly vanished again.
It is thought that the Irish Lady's Tresses orchid (pictured right) found at the Ulster Wildlife Trust reserve in the park may have been eaten by one of the grazing cows.
The only parts of western Europe where the rare orchid is found are Western Scotland and Ireland, and in Ulster it has only been seen at 14 sites since 1892.
Experts believe the orchid has already disappeared from six of those sites as it hasn't been seen there since 1986.
The flower is listed as a Priority Species in the UK because of its rarity and declining distribution.
Ecos Park environment officer Dr Cliff Henry said he almost stood on the orchid before spotting it.
The plant is just four inches tall with pale cream flowers and grass-like leaves. The blooms wrap round the flowering stem in an upward spiral instead of sticking straight out.
Unfortunately, Dr Henry was unable to find the orchid again and believes it may have been eaten by one of the rare breeds cattle that graze the meadow. However, he is optimistic that they may reappear.

[Garnet Rose]

Is it a joking matter? :go The species of the alleged perpetrator and victim have been changed to gnu and daisy, but we saw through the subterfuge.

[Slick Vic Ulster Ranger]

Did a cow eat the rare Ulster orchid found only 14 times in 110 years?

By Linda McKee
07 August 2006 A rare orchid has been discovered at the Ecos Park in Ballymena - and has promptly vanished again.
It is thought that the Irish Lady's Tresses orchid (pictured right) found at the Ulster Wildlife Trust reserve in the park may have been eaten by one of the grazing cows.
The only parts of western Europe where the rare orchid is found are Western Scotland and Ireland, and in Ulster it has only been seen at 14 sites since 1892.
Experts believe the orchid has already disappeared from six of those sites as it hasn't been seen there since 1986.
The flower is listed as a Priority Species in the UK because of its rarity and declining distribution.
Ecos Park environment officer Dr Cliff Henry said he almost stood on the orchid before spotting it.
The plant is just four inches tall with pale cream flowers and grass-like leaves. The blooms wrap round the flowering stem in an upward spiral instead of sticking straight out.
Unfortunately, Dr Henry was unable to find the orchid again and believes it may have been eaten by one of the rare breeds cattle that graze the meadow. However, he is optimistic that they may reappear.


Hey GR this is only 17 miles from me:go :go :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Hey GR this is only 17 miles from me:go :go :rofl

Oh, so then you should be added to the suspect list! :tap

[Slick Vic Ulster Ranger]

Oh, so then you should be added to the suspect list! :tap

OPPPS!!!
Hey GR did you get an email from me?:waiting

[Coffee Em]

Oh, sure--blame it on the cows. Whenever anything goes wrong, that's where the fingers point. At the cows. It's so unfair.

[Garnet Rose]

OPPPS!!!
Hey GR did you get an email from me?:waiting
Yes I did, with a picture of the Coronado bridge and a burger place! (Further proof that you should be added to the list of suspects :rofl )

[Coffee Em]

Garnet, are you suggesting that Vic ate the orchid at, er, secondhand, as it were? :rofl

[Garnet Rose]

Garnet, are you suggesting that Vic ate the orchid at, er, secondhand, as it were? :rofl

Well, if the clue fits... :go

[Coffee Em]

:rofl:rofl:lool:lool:rofl:rofl

[Slick Vic Ulster Ranger]

Here is the real culprit---a Highland coo. Dont think they would like the heat stateside.:lasso

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e253/scotty350/P1010588.jpg

[Garnet Rose]

Vic, are you sayin' that if you let your coo oot and aboot, it will eat orchids? :gg

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Looks like a European version of a long horn.........Buck( what knows the ancesters of the long horns were Spanish cows):go

[Slick Vic Ulster Ranger]

Vic, are you sayin' that if you let your coo oot and aboot, it will eat orchids? :gg


Ach he wodney da thaat or i tak a stick an gien him a dunt
:lool :lool :lool

[Wallaby Jack]

" ........ get a haircut, an' get a real job !"

[Coffee Em]

Ach he wodney da thaat or i tak a stick an gien him a dunt
:lool :lool :lool

Good grief, I understood that. Obviously, I've been reading too much Robert Burns and/or Dorothy Dunnett.

[Four-Eyed Buck]

At least it wasn't Welsh, Em..............:faint :go

[Coffee Em]

Ah, the Welsh. The reason the rest of the world has a consonant shortage. :D

[Garnet Rose]

Good grief, I understood that. Obviously, I've been reading too much Robert Burns and/or Dorothy Dunnett.

He's talking coo abuse now, Em. I thought you'd "tak a stick an gien him a dunt" :rofl

[Coffee Em]

Some coos are totally into that kind of thing. I try not to be judgemental. (Mental, sometimes, but not...oh, never mind.)

[Slick Vic Ulster Ranger]

As others see us.:lool

There were the Scots who who kept the Sabbath---
and everything else they could lay their hands on

Then there were the Welsh who prayed on their knees--
and their neighbours

Thirdly there were the Irish who never knew what they wanted--
but where always willing to fight for it anyway

And lastly there were the English who considered themselves a self-made nation--
Thus reliveing the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

:chick :chick

[Garnet Rose]

Some coos are totally into that kind of thing. I try not to be judgemental. (Mental, sometimes, but not...oh, never mind.)

This judge didn't want to be judgemental, so he let the coo decide.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cornwall/5198554.stm

[Coffee Em]

Good grief! Folks here have talked about what happens when a puppy grows up into a full-grown Lab and still wants to sit on your lap. But that--whew!

But then, the Universal Gym hadn't been invented yet--would cow lifts target specific muscle groups?

[Garnet Rose]

Good grief! Folks here have talked about what happens when a puppy grows up into a full-grown Lab and still wants to sit on your lap. But that--whew!

But then, the Universal Gym hadn't been invented yet--would cow lifts target specific muscle groups?

Cow lifts just brought on this vision of skiing cows. :help

[Coffee Em]

You're not a well woman, Garnet. :rofl:rofl

Vic, that summary of the British Isles always cracks me up. :lool:lool

[Garnet Rose]

You're not a well woman, Garnet. :rofl:rofl

:lool:lool

You're right, Em. I've always been partial to indoor plumbing. :go

[Coffee Em]

:lool :lool :lool

[Garnet Rose]

Em, I told Calico that you said I wasn't a well woman: "She doesn't think you're very deep, eh?"

[Garnet Rose]

I'm sure you've seen "The Scream"

Edvard Munch 1863-1944
The Scream, 1893
Oslo National Gallery

[Garnet Rose]

But have you seen "The Cream"?:go

[Garnet Rose]

Cow lifts just brought on this vision of skiing cows. :help

And there are others who share my vision. I didn't find any cows on ski lifts, but...

You can go skiing *with* cows

[Garnet Rose]

Skiing with cows part 2

[Garnet Rose]

Or you can go skiing AS cows

[Garnet Rose]

And then there are skiing cows (52 of them in this deck)

[Garnet Rose]

Apres ski cow

[Garnet Rose]

Cross country ski cow

[Garnet Rose]

Slalom ski cow

[Garnet Rose]

And downhill ski cow

[Garnet Rose]

Okay, this is downright scary. On http://www.pogo.com there is a game in the Puzzles section with your name in it, Em. And it's got cows! and chickens for GG! and ducks for Nellie! (I won't mention the sheep for those of you who shudder at the thought of Brokeback Mountain and I'll leave it up to your own discretion to decide who the pigs represent :gg but anyone who advocates cruelty to cats would definitely qualify)

[Garnet Rose]

:chick :chick :chick

[Garnet Rose]

UK News (http://www.lse.co.uk/UKNews.asp)

Now For The Moos, Cows Have Regional Accents

Tuesday, 22nd August 2006, 17:12
<HR align=left color=#000000 SIZE=1>Don't have a cow man, but West Country farmers reckon their cattle moo with a Wurzel accent.

Farmers chewing the cud have been saying their herds have been heard mooing with a distinctive Somerset twang, copying the human voices they hear around them.

The "moo-arrs" resounding around the rolling fields are just one of the accents reportedly picked up by cattle around the country.

Apparently Brummie tones have been heard in the Midlands, while Norfolk and Lancashire have also seen their own bovine vernacular.

Essex farmers have also reported their cows picking up the much-derided local accent.

Cattle owners put the territorial twang down to the amount of time they spent with their herds.

West Country farmer Lloyd Green, of Glastonbury, Somerset, said: "I spend a lot of time with my Friesians and they definitely moo with a Somerset drawl.

"I’ve spoken to the other farmers in the West Country group and they have noticed a similar development in their own herds.

"I think it works the same as with dogs - the closer a farmer’s bond is with his animals, the easier it is for them to pick up his accent."

Mr Green is one of the cheesemakers who wraps his animals in cow coats and plays them classical music while they are being milked in winter.

The practice is supposed to create the perfect environment for ensuring the West Country cheddar is best in the country.

But he may not be mooing up the wrong tree, as the phenomenon has academic approval.

Experts say they have heard birds twitter in accents and there is no reason why cows could not do the same.

John Wells, Professor of Phonetics at the University College London, said: "This phenomenon is well attested in birds. You find distinct chirping accents in the same species around the country. This could also be true of cows.

"In small populations such as herds you would encounter identifiable dialectical variations which are most affected by the immediate peer group."

Dr Jeanine Treffers-Daller, Reader in Linguistics at the University of the West England, believes the cows might be distancing themselves from their bovine contemporaries.

She said: "When we are learning to speak we adopt a local variety of language spoken by our parents so the same could be said about the variation in the West Country cow moo.

"Standard English can often sound too posh for some people so we reject that in favour of a local accent which is often associated with fun nights out with our friends or, in this case, chewing the cud!"

[Garnet Rose]

URGENT ADVISORY FOR VISITORS TO MADRID

Stay indoors. (http://www.typicallyspanish.com/news/publish/article_5995.shtml)

[Garnet Rose]

This week's theme: words about poetry.

palinode (PAL-uh-noad) noun

A poem in which the author retracts something said in an earlier poem.
[From Greek palinoidia, from palin (again) + oide (song).]

The illustrator and humorist Gelett Burgess (1866-1951) once wrote a poem called The Purple Cow:

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.

The poem became so popular and he became so closely linked with this single quatrain he later wrote a palinode:

Confession: and a Portrait, Too,
Upon a Background that I Rue!
Oh, yes, I wrote 'The Purple Cow,'
I'm sorry now I wrote it!
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'll kill you if you quote it."

It was the same Burgess who coined the word blurb.
-Anu Garg (garg wordsmith.org)

[Garnet Rose]

A palinode?

[Madame Olive Yew]

Life of cows and bulls
A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back to their business. Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just say "moo." Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, "Moo? What's the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you just stand there unharmed ?" "Isn't it obvious?" the bull replies. "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
:faint

[Ida Hands]

:lool :lool :rofl :rofl :lool :lool :rofl :rofl

[DogWoman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgsAupJaBF4&mode=related&search=

[Ida Hands]

:lool :lool :rofl :rofl :lool :rofl :chick :tban

[Madame Olive Yew]

LOVE IT!!!! :lool :rofl :lool :rofl :lool :rofl :lool :rofl

[Yankee Belle]

Now that is funny!!!:rofl :rofl :lool

[Fannie Kikinshoot]

You know what you have after watching that video.....a milk shake!!!